Corny Bible Jokes

So one of my FAVORITE things is corny jokes, but ESPECIALLY corny Bible jokes. There were a few in a joke book and of course we thought we could think of better ones. My family helped me think of these but please feel free to add more under comments. They bring so much joy to my life and the cornier the better. We sometimes try and think of other ones, so I might occasionally add to this list. Enjoy! (yes, I know we have no lives. We like it that way.)

Knock Knock
Who’s There?
Jesus.
Jesus Who?
I stand at the door and knock.

What did Jesus have for Christmas dinner?
Beth-la-honey-baked-ham

Who were Gumby’s favorite Bible characters?
Shadrack, Meshack & AhBENDago.

What do Annie & Peter have in common?
A Rooster

Which Bible Character is a locksmith?
Zaccheus.

How did Daniel communicate?
w/ a Daniel in the lion’s pen.

Who was the best cheerleader in the Bible?
The Holy Spirit

Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who’s the Pharaoh of them all?

Where did Dr. Seuss grow up?
Beth-le-green-eggs-and-ham.

Who’s the best soccer player in the Bible?
GOAL-iath.

If Donald Trump ate with John the Baptist, what would HE eat?
Locusts & Money.

Where did Rapunzel who talked a lot live?
The tower of Babel.

Which disciples had their heads in the clouds?James and John the son's of thunder. (*Josh just thought of this one, I thought it was too thoughtful to be in this corny list but thought I would share it.)

Which of Jesus' followers was always happy?Mary (merry)

Which Bible Character is into mathematics?
Adam (add-em)

Which one of the disciples is good with numbers?
Matthew (Math-ew)

Which one of Jesus' followers grew up on a farm?
Barn-abus

In what season did Adam betray God?In the FALL (from Shannon)

What was the richest animal in the Bible?The GOLDen calf (from Shannon)

Who was the brightest group of people in the Bible?The IsraeLITES (from Shannon)

20 Week Checkup

Today's checkup wasn't super exciting, nothing different happened today. They took my blood pressure, checked the baby's heartbeat and we set up our childbirth classes.
My favorite part about the appointment was that Josh got to come! He got to hear Viper's heartbeat for the first time! It was funny, because I think Viper was showing off for his Daddy. The midwife said that he kept swimming away from the Doppler; like all the way across my stomach. I'm thinking already I'm starting to get to know the personality of our baby already. She's very stubborn. Every time she's kicking up a storm I tell Josh, and tries to feel and then NOTHING. She completely stops. Then he waits for sometimes 5-10 minutes, then gets frustrated and stops and immediately starts kicking again. It's hilarious.
Lately we're still trying to pick out boy names. (our girl's name is Brooke) and we've been trying to run them by Viper to see what he thinks. I read the names slowly, and if I feel a kick, it's a contender. (Unless that means he hates it?) It could just be a coincidence WHEN he kicks, but just maybe he can hear us and give us some input.
Josh just said that Viper got an earring and a tattoo (apparently they offer these in utero now?).
We did get the machine where you can listen to your babie's heartbeat in your own home. I learned later that it won't really work until the third trimester, but even though we can't hear the heartbeat, I can hear Viper's tiny kicks! I know they're kicks because I also feel them at the same time. It's so cool. This lets Josh at least HEAR the kicking. I decided that Viper is trying to win at hide and seek while she still can; Josh claims he is SO good at it. He was pretty good. We played when I was house sitting and I literally could not find him and I know every good hiding place in that house.
Our ultrasound is Thursday, September 11. So stay tuned!

Today I think it's a girl....

So we're having a girl. I'm almost sure of it. Today on the way to work the song "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" came on and I felt Viper dancing along to it! No boys dance to that song and all girls can't help but dance to it. That is how I know.

18 Weeks!

Well, I'm at 18 weeks now! Viper is moving and kicking like crazy! I think he or she inherited Mommy's need to be constantly doing something or Daddy's athletic abilities. Josh has felt her three times now and the midwife said that no one would for probably 20 weeks. I'm getting bigger now (as you can tell.) People that don't even know me are starting to ask when I'm due...which to me means I'm OBVIOUSLY pregnant because it's kinda taboo to assume when you don't know the person.

Viper is training for the Olympics!

I've noticed that Viper is a HUGE Olympic fan. Every time I sit down to watch the Olympics it's like I can feel him or her training for the future Olympics in there. Mostly during gymnastics and swimming. It feels like tumbling or when the do the flippy turn in the pool. It's so cute. I don't want to put any expectations on our baby, but I definitely feel it's a dream of our babie's. I also think of Jerry Seinfeld's quote from his sketch, "I did pushups since I was a fetus..." I also think Viper likes swimming and tumbling because that's essentially all he's doing anyway, but also that's all I've been watching in the Olympics so far anyway.
Josh got to feel the baby kick last night!!! We went to see a movie last night and it was moving like crazy. Josh tried to feel for a while and got frustrated and couldn't feel anything even though it was moving. Later when we were in bed we were lying there reading and I got kicked pretty hard. I told Josh to just put his hand on my stomach while we read and keep it there. Viper moved a couple of times and Josh didn't noticed. Then a little harder one happened and Josh said suddenly, "I felt THAT!!!" It was so exciting. The midwife said he probably wouldn't be able to feel anything until about 20 weeks, so it was a couple weeks early. She's been a couple of weeks early on a few things, maybe I'll come 2 weeks before my due date. :)

Date Night Reunion!

My three best friends were here this last weekend. I haven't seen them all together for a year and a half! We always talked about getting married someday and getting together still and it kept not happening. So we planned a trip! It was so good to catch up and just hang out again. Thanks so much for visiting and for being my friends! I love you!