Things I Hope that Brooklynn Learns Soon...

• Peanut Butter, ketchup, oatmeal, and sadly, poop are NOT finger-paint. Or body paint.
• Your head is not a weapon.
• When you dump out ALL the toys, it's OK to play with at least SOME of them. 
• Cookies are not an acceptable main course.
• When you  take your shoes AND socks off in the car (every. single. time.) we ALWAYS have to put them back on. So why take them off?
• I recently took all the candy out of the diaper bag. No matter how many times you empty the entire contents of it out everywhere we go, you're still not going to find any in there.
• When you dump your entire bowl of cereal, or plate of spaghetti, or whatever horribly messy thing we're eating that meal all over the floor or yourself, MOMMY has to clean it up. Then I have less time to play with you. So stop it. Or at least stop whining that I play with you when trying to clean up said mess.
• Chairs are not for standing on. They are for sitting.
• "More" or "I want that" is not pronounced "mom mom." Frankly, it sounds too much like "Mama" and it's confusing.
• When I ask if you have a poopy diaper, you don't need to actually reach down there to check. A simple yes or no would be just fine.
• It hurts when you kick me in the stomach. I'm already getting kicked from the outside. 
• Either go on the toilet or stop freaking out when it's time for a diaper change.